Poetry is queer really, just by nature.

Thanks to a book club, I've encountered this odd little book. Once I started it, I really wasn't sure it was my jam. But it really became my jam and I sped through it in one sitting.

I Felt A Funeral, In My Brain by Will Walton is both prose and poetry with Avery as our guide. It's as much dealing with grief as it is trying to figure things out, as a teen who is gay and wants to have sex with his best friend. With a mother who is an alcoholic. A grandfather, Pal, who drinks and then creates this hole that has to be filled.

Avery is trying to make sense of his grief in losing his grandpa, while dealing with everything else. And the everything else is, frankly, A LOT. We jump around between past and present, prose and poetry, lists and scattered thoughts. If you can keep up, you can go deep into the ride of Avery's thoughts and emotions.

Honestly, grief stays right below the surface. Eleven years have passed since I lost my dad and I still speak in present tense sometimes. It bubbles up out of nowhere at the most innocuous thing. Watching Avery try to work through his grief at Pal's death brought up emotions that I didn't expect to see. 

This isn't your ordinary book. Dive in, but don't expect a linear path.

The title of the book is from an Emily Dickinson poem:

I felt a Funeral, in my Brain

BY EMILY DICKINSON

I felt a Funeral, in my Brain,

And Mourners to and fro

Kept treading - treading - till it seemed

That Sense was breaking through -

And when they all were seated,

A Service, like a Drum -

Kept beating - beating - till I thought

My mind was going numb -

And then I heard them lift a Box

And creak across my Soul

With those same Boots of Lead, again,

Then Space - began to toll,

As all the Heavens were a Bell,

And Being, but an Ear,

And I, and Silence, some strange Race,

Wrecked, solitary, here -

And then a Plank in Reason, broke,

And I dropped down, and down -

And hit a World, at every plunge,

And Finished knowing - then -

The Night the Circus Comes to Town

 “You’re not destined or chosen, I wish I could tell you that you were if that would make it easier, but it’s not true. You’re in the right place at the right time, and you care enough to do what needs to be done. Sometimes that’s enough.”

I've heard so much about The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern that I got it from the library to see what the fuss was about. While I liked it, and thought it beautiful, I remained fussless.

Celia and Marco are two magicians, who are in a competition against each other. Celia has natural magic while Marco has to work at it. They are trained by elderly magicians who apparently pit their students against each other on a regular basis. I really had nothing but distaste for the two "mentors". The black and white night circus is their battleground, so to speak, for the competition. The circus, le Cirque des Rêves, arrives unannounced all over the world, stays for a few weeks, then disappears. Each tent is a thing of beauty and marvel. 

Celia and Marco fall in love, causing a problem to the competition. I'll be honest, while they are the main characters, they were not who I cared about. The competition itself wasn't enough to interest me either, in and of itself, but the magic and the writing that brought the magic to life, did keep my interest. Poppet, Widget, and Bailey, side characters supposedly, held my interest much more. They seemed very real, very there. 

Perhaps it's because I'm not one for love stories. Everything surrounding Celia and Marco kept me going, but for Celia and Marco themselves. What is pretty cool about this book is that it was created during NaNoWriMo, an event I try to participate in before giving up by the second week. 

This truly is a beautifully written book. If you are a sucker for love stories, this will be the one for you.

NY Times Review

Interview with the author

 

It's a whole new game

Funny enough, I read Jim Butcher's Skin Game almost exactly 6 years ago (previous review here). I've been waiting OH SO PATIENTLY for #16 in the Dresden Files series and it's here!!! Since it's been six years, I wanted to re-read Skin Game to bring back all the memories.

Oh yes. Harry Dresden is my literary crush. And being thrown back into his world was just what this jacked-up dumpster fire of 2020 needed. You can read my old review for the plot. 

This go around I listened to the audiobook because James Marsters is the narrator.

Spike!

He's an excellent narrator and makes a great Dresden. I love this damn series. Onward to Peace Talks.

BTW, did you know The Dresden Files was a show as well? I found it on Amazon Prime and started re-watching. Makes me just as happy :) Most definitely not the books, but worth watching.

The Dresden Files show

Jim Butcher at Comic Con 2020

I Thought This Would Be Different

Not going to lie, when I read this was Steel Magnolias crossed with a book club that kills vampires, I was expecting something funny, light, different.

While there were some funny bits, this was heavier than I thought it would be and left me a bit upset.  Patricia is our main protagonist, a former nurse who gave up her career to help her husband's medical career (red flag 1). She stays home to raise the children and tries to get involved in her neighborhood book club. It doesn't go well since the head of the club is a wee bit uptight and, instead of being fun, it's a miserable experience for Patricia. (I've been in such book clubs). 

A few of the ladies do a break out club, reading crime novels with the occasional "normal" novel mixed in, for depth. She's got a good group of friends now and reads books she actually likes! Her husband still insists on working ungodly hours for a promotion, leaving her to essentially be a single mom. They've also taken in his mom, who has dementia, and Patricia cares for her as well. 

When Patricia is brutally attacked in front of her own home by an elderly neighbor, things change. James Harris, the elderly neighbor's "relative", comes around and Patricia is enchanted by him. Hell, everyone gets enchanted by him. Weirdly enchanted. 

Harris' appearance is around the same time black children start disappearing. Patricia, having read up on vampires, figures out what James is and tries to sound the alarm. Her husband's reaction is just outright appalling (red flag 2) as well as her friend's reactions. She's essentially on her own.

Grady Hendrix touches on systemic racism here: why else would a vampire target black children from a working class neighborhood? He shows us how lethargic the police are in responding to the missing children, how the wealthier white neighborhoods have a "Well, it's not happening HERE" attitude. 

As Patricia fights the fight, things get dark (yes, they were already dark, they get darker). I was happy with the ending and happy seeing Patricia stand up. I was less happy about the side plot of the missing black kids and their tormented parents just..... disappear. 

Ms. Greene stands large. She's the black lady who is hired by Patricia to help care for her mother in law. Ms. Greene put her life on the line when Harris attacked Miss Mary and was the pivotal person to bring the missing children to Patricia's attention. And in the end, Ms. Greene did the bulk of the dirty work. I wanted her to have more kudos, more limelight and more of the happy ending. 

In the end.... Fuck Patriarchy and Fuck Racism.

Interview with the Vampire (book author)