From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death by Caitlin Doughty

I'll start off saying that I love this woman. I read Smoke Gets In Your Eyes back in 2015 and fell in love with her idea of the Good Death. Why is death so terrifying for Americans? Why are we, as the living, so far removed from it? When my dad passed in 2009, I remember being upset that we were ushered out of his room and sent to the waiting room while the funeral home took over. I remember being upset they shaved his mustache (he was never without it) and that we only saw him again when it was time for visitation. He was my DAD. And I wasn't allowed to be there.

Caitlin put into words what I was feeling. Americans sanitize death too much. We're not allowed to grieve with the bodies of our loved ones. Everything is swept up and away and you need to slap a smile on your face because everyone else has moved on, why can't you?

In From Here To Eternity, Caitlin visits several cultures, here and abroad, to learn about death customs. This was just fascinating to me. Ever since dad died and we went through the whole thousands of dollars funeral experience, I knew that I wouldn't be taking the same route. Caitlin's work, including her Ask A Mortician YouTube channel, led me to natural burials. And now I know where my body will end up.


Some of the places Caitlin visits are Colorado. A small town called Crestone built their own pyre to send their dead off in a respectful manner. Indonesia: where corpses are mummified in Death Houses and brought out every so often to be cleaned and cared for by their families. This culture has a very hands on idea of taking care of their families. Mexico is an obvious place to go for Dias de los Muertos. In North Carolina, on a body farm, they are working on recomposition of bodies, essentially composting a corpse and giving the compost back to the family.  (Fun fact: ashes from cremation are completely devoid of any nutrients so even if you scatter the ashes in a garden, they do no good).

Spain placed the corpses behind glass to give the sense of close up but not. I think my favorite was Japan and the Buddhist Temple of Koukokuji. Japan has the highest cremation rate (99.9%) and some of those ashes are kept at Ruriden. It's high tech mixed with Buddhism.

https://youtu.be/y9m1jlYl1qs

Essentially, mourners call up their person via key card. The Buddha associated with their loved one lights up to show them where to go. 

In Boliva, I will admit that the concept of natitas might have been a little much for me. (more info at the link). I always find it difficult when faith crosses into "magic" but these people have a culture and I do appreciate that they found a way to deal with death.

Lastly, a natural burial in California at the Joshua Tree cemetery.

Natural vs. Traditional burials

Caitlin's TED talk

Caitlin is not only intelligent and awesome, she's a natural writer who writes about the terrifying side of life with wit and humor. You get information you should have (no body HAS to be embalmed....did you know that?) in easy doses. HIGHLY recommend her books, blog, and YouTube channel. Death not terrifying. It's a part of life.