From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death by Caitlin Doughty

I'll start off saying that I love this woman. I read Smoke Gets In Your Eyes back in 2015 and fell in love with her idea of the Good Death. Why is death so terrifying for Americans? Why are we, as the living, so far removed from it? When my dad passed in 2009, I remember being upset that we were ushered out of his room and sent to the waiting room while the funeral home took over. I remember being upset they shaved his mustache (he was never without it) and that we only saw him again when it was time for visitation. He was my DAD. And I wasn't allowed to be there.

Caitlin put into words what I was feeling. Americans sanitize death too much. We're not allowed to grieve with the bodies of our loved ones. Everything is swept up and away and you need to slap a smile on your face because everyone else has moved on, why can't you?

In From Here To Eternity, Caitlin visits several cultures, here and abroad, to learn about death customs. This was just fascinating to me. Ever since dad died and we went through the whole thousands of dollars funeral experience, I knew that I wouldn't be taking the same route. Caitlin's work, including her Ask A Mortician YouTube channel, led me to natural burials. And now I know where my body will end up.


Some of the places Caitlin visits are Colorado. A small town called Crestone built their own pyre to send their dead off in a respectful manner. Indonesia: where corpses are mummified in Death Houses and brought out every so often to be cleaned and cared for by their families. This culture has a very hands on idea of taking care of their families. Mexico is an obvious place to go for Dias de los Muertos. In North Carolina, on a body farm, they are working on recomposition of bodies, essentially composting a corpse and giving the compost back to the family.  (Fun fact: ashes from cremation are completely devoid of any nutrients so even if you scatter the ashes in a garden, they do no good).

Spain placed the corpses behind glass to give the sense of close up but not. I think my favorite was Japan and the Buddhist Temple of Koukokuji. Japan has the highest cremation rate (99.9%) and some of those ashes are kept at Ruriden. It's high tech mixed with Buddhism.

https://youtu.be/y9m1jlYl1qs

Essentially, mourners call up their person via key card. The Buddha associated with their loved one lights up to show them where to go. 

In Boliva, I will admit that the concept of natitas might have been a little much for me. (more info at the link). I always find it difficult when faith crosses into "magic" but these people have a culture and I do appreciate that they found a way to deal with death.

Lastly, a natural burial in California at the Joshua Tree cemetery.

Natural vs. Traditional burials

Caitlin's TED talk

Caitlin is not only intelligent and awesome, she's a natural writer who writes about the terrifying side of life with wit and humor. You get information you should have (no body HAS to be embalmed....did you know that?) in easy doses. HIGHLY recommend her books, blog, and YouTube channel. Death not terrifying. It's a part of life.

Braving The Wilderness by Brene Brown

I've heard of Brene Brown and wanted to give her a try. I didn't choose this book for any particular reason except I liked the subtitle: The Quest for True Belonging and The Courage to Stand Alone. I've found, when the situation arises, I'm usually the one out there alone and speaking up. Alone and doing.

I listened to the audiobook read by Brene.  There were so many points where I just kept nodding my head. It's clear she does a lot of research for her books and has a lot of facts and points to back up her advice.

Here's an excerpt: https://brenebrown.com/blog/2017/09/07/braving-the-wilderness-excerpt/

One of the pieces of advice that I really appreciated was: It's easy to hate from far away. Get in close. She frames a lot of her advice in the context of where America is politically. This piece is very true. I have friends, great friends, whose political views are polar opposites of my views. But I don't hate them. I know them so well they might as well be family. But I shrug off our differences. So why is it so easy to get angry at strangers or the masses when they disagree? Because you haven't moved in close to them. Someone at a protest makes you angry? Move in and talk to them. It's such a novel concept except it's not. It should be common sense.

Her section on how we dehumanize people in order to make it easier to tear them down was difficult to read because of the truth. In big ways (Holocaust) and little ways we dehumanize others so we don't feel bad about how they are treated. Again, I'm shocked and not surprised we do this. And yes, the we includes myself. Some of the examples Brown gives hit a little too close to home.

I also appreciated the advice of Hold Hands With Strangers. Get in there and feel all the pain and all the joy. It connects humans better than social media. Being there, showing up, and listening is so important but rarely done.

I've been trying to take her advice to heart and make some improvements. Some days are much better than others, obviously, but imagine how things would work if everyone tried to just show up and be with their fellow man.

*insert hand holding and kumbaya singing*

The Walking Dead: Compendium Three by Robert Kirkman et al.

I started this monster in September 2016 and just finished it the other day. Once again, no, it really didn't take me that long to read. But I got caught up in the show and I really didn't want to know what happened, or what could happen. At the mid-season finale, when {spoiler} got bit, I knew I needed to finish this compendium.

Let me just say that the show has deviated quite a bit. What upset me on the show didn't happen in the comics except I ended up getting completely upset by the ending of the compendium and just have to say DO NOT KILL {SPOILER}, DAMMIT.

So the beginning of this compendium, Negan is still a thing, Abraham is alive and they are not yet broken. The ending is way beyond the show and we get an all new villain for the survivors to deal with because Negan is no longer a threat......or is he??

This is a good one. I'm eager to see The Whisperers played out on the show but DO NOT KILL {SPOILER}.......DAMMIT.