I tend to somewhat listen to TED talk podcasts, usually with just one ear while I knit or drive to work. One in particular made me start from the beginning because I felt like they were describing my life.
Guys. I think I'm burnt out.
I have the TED talk below but the gist is how stress can manifest into physical symptoms and how to deal with them. The authors of the book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle were the TED speakers and I was convinced enough to go out and get the book.
Knowing that burn out isn't just a workplace phenomenon, how do you recognize it when it happens?
Depersonalization: separating yourself emotionally from your work/activities and you don't feel it's meaningful anymore
Decreased sense of accomplishment: you work hard but you don't feel like you are making a difference
Emotional exhaustion: 'nuff said
Check. Check. Check. I AM burned out.
The Nagoski sisters, Emily and Amelia, gives us a lot of science-backed information about stress, stressors, escaping the lions, completing a stress cycle, to help us deal with our stress. Unfortunately, in today's world, we have chronic stressors, things that just don't go away (apparently commutes are some of the worst chronic stressors) so we are in a constant fight, flight, or freeze response. Is it any wonder we all feel terrible all the time? The toll this takes on your body!
They teach how to complete the stress cycle, ie. letting your body know you are safe and the stressor is not going to harm you. Until you get back in the car and go back to work :) Exercise is a good stress release but, thankfully, so is creativity. Painting, knitting, creating something, those are all good ways to make sure your brain and body know that you are in a good place.
Women deal with different stresses than men (#NotAllMen, I know I know) so this book is geared more towards women and the issues we deal with. In relationships, women tend to carry the load of parenting and household chores, even while working full time. In life, women are bombarded more with how we are supposed to look, act, speak, etc. than men. At work, especially if you are in a male centric profession, well, that is just constant stress of making sure you are noticed and given the same opportunities as your male peers (ask me how I know this one).
Besides completing your stress cycles, the book talks about relationships. How women use relationships to help them get through stressful situations. We may think we can get through it all on our own but truth is, we can't. They also talk about Human Giver Syndrome, which affects the majority of women. We tend to be the caretakers, the givers, the ones who give up themselves in order to help others. This isn't a terrible thing, it's just not a healthy thing.
One thing I found out after reading this book is Nicole Sachs, LCSW and her Cure For Chronic Pain site. She focuses on TMS but the science behind this and burnout are the same, I think. Your body will manifest symptoms and pain if you are holding on to stress and trauma. It's been fascinating to read up on the science because while I know I am burnt out, I also have chronic pain that, some days, is near debilitating. Since I've started paying attention, I can tell when my pain might be worse, like after a particularly stressful or upsetting day.
The science behind all of this is cool and scary. Our brains and bodies are just amazing and we really need to start paying more attention to them.
“The good news is that stress is not the problem. The problem is that the strategies that deal with stressors have almost no relationship to the strategies that deal with the physiological reactions our bodies have to those stressors. To be “well” is not to live in a state of perpetual safety and calm, but to move fluidly from a state of adversity, risk, adventure, or excitement, back to safety and calm, and out again. Stress is not bad for you; being stuck is bad for you.”
