I finished a book!

I heard about Jon Acuff's book Finish from BostonJen at Down Cellar Studio podcast. I downloaded it from Audible and then delayed starting it. I finally started AND finished it (it's a pretty short book) and really needed that kick in the ass.

I have notebooks full of ideas and plans and yet, I rarely start any of them. Even this year, I want to learn Spanish. I do well practicing with Duolingo for  5 days in a row then if I miss a day, I feel all is lost. But it's not lost! Acuff tries to pound this in everyone's head in this book. Perfectionism is really an asshole, it wants you to quit and distracts you from getting something done.

“This is the first lie that perfectionism tells you about goals: Quit if it isn’t perfect.”

Some of Acuff's tips include cutting your goal in half. Want to lose 50 pounds? Try 25. Want to read 100 books in a year? Start with 50. Or in my case, want to become an expert spinner? Start by spinning ONE skein of yarn. Or just digging out your spinning wheel because you know you will suck at it right away.

He points out things you have to drop by the wayside in order to hit your goal. You will have to say no to people. You will have to give up social media (fun fact: since deleting Facebook from my phone last month, I've finished 3 knitting projects).

Acuff doesn't say anything revolutionary, but it still just resonated with me. "It doesn't count if it's not difficult". Wait?!?!?!  That's not true? It can be easy/fun and still count?? That shouldn't have blown me away but it did. Now I have to re-evaluate my life. brb.

Seriously though, I try the occasional self help book to motivate myself into not binge watching The Simpsons for the 5th time but this one did it. Naturally, my favorite part was gathering data on your goals. I'm a data nerd so this speaks to my soul. You think you lost 40lbs in 2009 much faster than you are now? Your memory is probably tricking you, the data will show different. Make sure you track how things are going so the data, not your memory, will show you your progress. I LOVE this.

Acuff reads the audio book and he is a funny dude. Very easy to listen to and get into the zone.

Acuff - Figure out what doesn't work for you

How many people keep reading hoping it gets better?

Seriously. I had bought Crashing Heat by Richard Castle on a Kindle deal so I'm not out a lot of money but I'm still not happy this wasn't a library book. I LOVED the show Castle (for a while) and I loved the books (for a bit) but both declined, in my opinion.

Crashing Heat was just so much about Rook and his "genius" and so little of Heat and her team, solving murders. Aside from the gooiness of Heat talking about her husband (all. the. time.) we were off to a good start with an odd murder. A college student's body was found lying on a sculpture in a park. It would have taken effort to get a body up there so we know this wasn't an accident.

Roach, our favorite team, is on the case with Heat. Heat keeps drifting into thought of Rook and his going back to his alma mater to teach. Will the distance break them up?? Good lord, it's a few months and a few hours away. We have a murder to solve here, Heat. Snap out of it!

This is why I do not read romance novels. Rook ends up framed for murder at the college. His number one fan, Chloe, is dead in his bed. In his house. Is this what Heat feared? Did he cheat on her?? How about caring about poor, dead Chloe, Heat.

Heat makes an incredibly poor decision to go to the college and investigate on her own. She keeps telling us how un-biased she is as a trained detective, but, the suspected perp IS your husband soooo.... isn't that some bias?

This went downhill from there with secret societies and Illuminati shit. I highly do NOT recommend this one. Go read some of the earlier books, those will keep you entertained!

You know, I don't even remember what happened to the college student. He was essentially relegated to the back burner.

How I Ended Up In No Shop February

I have a good paying job. I have a house, a car, and I have some debt. I don't have a shopping habit, per se, but yarn and books are a major weakness. I started using Mint.com to help track all of my spending. It turns out, going to lunch or having lunch delivered is also my weakness (or lack of preparedness). Sigh.

I saw on YarnderWoman's Instagram a reference to The Year of Less by Cait Flanders. I googled it and thought, yeah, I need to read this. My first step in saving money was going to the library to get this book! Yay me.

I have lots of financial goals. I've already paid off my car and plan to drive it til it falls apart. My mortgage is under control. I have an emergency fund and a 401k. But I want the other debt gone because I want to travel! See the world! Take in the sites! I finished reading this book while in the hospital, caught unawares by a small bowel obstruction, and I think I might need to re-read (I was on a lot of narcotics). I got the gist though.

Flanders takes us through how she decided that consumerism was taking over her life. It's not just the spending money, right? It's all the STUFF you accumulate. I amaze myself when I consider how much I filled my house in 20 years. I'm also pretty sure I don't use over half of the things I have. Flanders did a massive purge of her apartment and then started her No Spend Year. There were rough patches, where things ended up in a virtual cart and were almost bought. But in the end, she saved up $17,000 and used that to travel. And that's what I'm talking about!

Once I was home and upright again, I started making my plan. It's not just No Shop February, I really started in January. I made a list of what I can spend money on vs. what I can't (I'll be visiting the library a lot more). I made a list of exceptions. And then I started cleaning and purging. I discovered that while, some things are needed and should be purchased, such as vitamins, I had hoarded vitamins as they came on sale. So I didn't need to keep spending money on them each month. Too bad I never checked my vitamin stash first *facepalm*

I'm figuring out my weak points, my instant "must purchase" moments. And I'm employing the Dave Ramsey approach to paying off the rest of my debt. It might be a rough year, but it's going to be a rewarding one!

Check Cait out below:

Not Cait but still good!

Podcast or Book?

I'm going with book. Audible has originals you can snag for free each month, and while I snag every month, sometimes it takes time to listen. I picked up Midnight Son one month and finally got around to listening to it recently.

I guess there is argument on whether this was a podcast or a book. Take a listen to sample here and see what you think. James Dommek, Jr. lays out everything he knows about Teddy Kyle Smith. It's part true crime and part folklore. It was 100% incredibly interesting.

Smith, an Alaskan native, became an actor in Hollywood, actually getting roles in acclaimed movies. After filming what would be his last movie, he snapped. But snapped doesn't feel right after listening to the story. Something happened to Smith. His mother is found dead and Smith shoots a gun off near the detectives who responded to Smith's call about his mother. Smith is also claiming he saw Iñukuns, a tribe that everyone believes is just a myth. Something talked about in stories.

Smith gets away from the police and a manhunts is on. Dommek walks us through Smith's history as well as what he did while being hunted. The Buckel brothers were on the wrong end of Smith and his guns during the manhunt. We also get through Smith's trial. Clearly, Smith needed to be locked up but what on earth caused him to snap?

James Dommek, Jr comes from a line of story-tellers. He does an excellent job in Midnight Son.

Interview with Smith at Sundance

Will There Be A 27?

The Stephanie Plum series is one I've come to rely on for it's consistency. You always know what you are going to get with Stephanie so it's a cozy, comfort series.

Until now.

Just kidding. It's still the series you love but, did you notice something different?? As I was reading, I kept noticing changes from the norm. And I liked them!

Grandma Mazur decides to get re-married. Most unfortunately, her new husband, local gangster Jimmy Rosolli, drops dead 45 minutes into the marriage.  Grandma is both upset and soaking in the attention of being Jimmy's widow. Jimmy was the Keeper of the Keys. No one has any idea what that means, but his fellow gangsters really want them back. They're targeting Grandma since they are sure she has them.

Stephanie does everything in her power to keep Grandma safe while trying to figure out where the keys are and keeping up with her job as a bounty hunter.

When Stephanie starts really bringing in her bounties (alive and without a lot of mishap) with Lula, I raised an eyebrow. Is Stephanie getting good at her job? When Grandma starts handing out, dare I say, profound advice, I raised an eyebrow. Is Grandma mellowing?

I really appreciated this book and the last line and page of the book make me curious where it's going...

I was smiling too. "Fortune and glory, Grandma. Fortune and glory. Let's go find a treasure."

Does this mean the next book will not have a number title? Are we going off in a different direction?? We get a hint of a new character coming in 27 here.

I can't wait to find out!

Jack Reacher isn't short

I keep picking up Lee Child books at every book sale I run across. He has so many books out, I figured it will be some time before I end up with a duplicate Jack Reacher book. So far, that's held true. Gone Tomorrow is the 13th Reacher book and, while I am clearly reading out of order, it doesn't seem like it matters. Each book is a stand alone that catches you up with what you need to know.

Child describes Reacher constantly and I have a picture of him in my head. It's vague, sure, but Reacher is a giant. He can't hide, he can't be "Everyman" invisible. Yet, Tom Cruise plays him in movies. Cruise is my height. I'm not intimidating and I blend into a crowd. C'mon.

(Rumor has it Reacher is getting a Netflix show? And will be played by a new actor? I hope so!)

This story has Reacher in NYC, on a subway, eyeballing his fellow passengers. He walks us through a list of 11 points of a suicide bomber. The lady on the train tracks on nearly all of those points. Ruh Roh, Reacher. In a move I don't quite understand except as a plot moving device, Reacher confronts the woman who then blows her brains out with a gun that was hidden in her bag.

This could seem to end all right here. But wait, there's more.

Cops come in and take Reacher to the precinct for questioning. The lead detective claims, possibly jokingly, that Reacher pushed the suicide lady to the edge. Feds come in with more questions. Reacher is released and...wait, there's more. Guns for hire have MORE questions. Now we know, this lady wasn't just a run of the mill lady, she was somebody and lots of people want to know what she gave Reacher before she killed herself.

Enter in a gorgeous Ukrainian and her old mother. But wait...you get the picture.

This one just piled WTH on top of WTH until I was slightly confused on who was who and who I needed to care about. People dropped like flies in this book, mostly thanks to Reacher.

The final showdown was quite excellent.

But wait.....

Just kidding :)

I'm leaving this here because Lee Child AND Stephen King

The Science of Compassion

"No one has ever become poor by giving"

Anne Frank

I was listening to a random podcast I had downloaded on Stitcher and was instantly intrigued by the guest. The podcast: Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris. The guest: Kelly McGonigal. Episode #219 about making and breaking habits.

I'm an almost-Buddhist. I've read a lot and try hard to practice meditation (monkey brain says no). I do my best to be a compassionate, good person who doesn't hold on to anger. I fail more often than I succeed, unfortunately. I also noticed that when I am letting go of anger and not engaging with negative people, that's when I'm most often called a doormat. Weird, huh? (hey...there's that anger)

I downloaded one of McGonigal's books from Audible: The Science of Compassion: A Modern Approach for Cultivating Empathy, Love, and Connection. It's a relatively short book that really offers up a lot of the why behind compassion. This is something of a training book as well, with meditative exercises at the end of each chapter (monkey brain says no). But overall, I got out of it what I was expecting and some new things as well.

I'm a giver, to a fault. Need someone to head up a fundraiser for a good cause? I'll do it. Donations to shelters? I'll knit them and collect them and deliver them. Need money for something? I'll help. Need a volunteer? I got you. I'm the most social introverted person I know, putting aside my uncomfortableness to help out (I never put aside my awkwardness, sorry). McGonigal points out studies that prove that compassion, for the sheer desire to give compassion, actually has health benefits. There is a little moment of happiness in giving, a little rush of feeling good. It's nice to know it's helping me too! An interesting aside to that is if you are compassionate because you feel you have to be, are forced to be, or are doing it because of selfish reason? You do not get the same benefits.

She offers up guides on how to not get overwhelmed with empathy. There is such thing as a compassion burnout. Let's not forget self-compassion. For some reason, that's a hard one, right? Being kind to myself is the last thing on my mind and usually isn't practiced until....actually, it's not really practiced. I'm encouraged from this book to give it a try though. Being compassionate towards those who give you pain is another difficult one (yet easier than self compassion. I have issues).  I tried this mediation practice after the death of an uncle. I truly tried to push positive energy towards family that has caused nothing but grief.  I think I succeeded about 1% of the time.

Maybe 1% is too high.

Either way, this book gave me a lot to think about. With my history of illness and bad health, I've always felt the draw to help others. I need to learn that doesn't involve money and things all the time. It also involves sitting, listening, and being quiet.

Kelly McGonigal -This story is one of the ones in the book